China’s Trump-Branded Massage Parlours Rub Stephen The Wrong Way
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China’s Trump-Branded Massage Parlours Rub Stephen The Wrong Way


WELCOME TO “THE
LATE SHOW”.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. HAPPY FRIDAY. YOU GUYS READY FOR THE WEEKEND? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I LOVE A FRIDAY CROWD. I LOVE A FRIDAY CROWD. THEY’RE ELECT. NOW, DONALD TRUMP HAS GOOD
WEEKENDS DOWN IN MAR-A-LAGO, ALL THE TIME. EVER SINCE HE BECAME THE MOST
POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, WE’VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT THIS GUY AND
HIS POTENTIAL CONFLICT OF INTEREST OVERSEAS. WELL, THERE’S A NEW ONE. THIS WEEK, WE LEARNED THAT TRUMP
MAY HAVE VIOLATED THE CONSTITUTION TO TRADEMARK
MASSAGE PARLORS AND ESCORT SERVICES IN CHINA. ( LAUGHTER ).>>Jon: WHOA, WHOA!>>Stephen: THIS IS TRUE. AND UNLIKE THESE MASSAGES, THE
TRUMP PRESIDENCY MAY NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING. NOW– SO I HEAR. SO I HEAR. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).>>Jon: I DON’T KNOW ABOUT
THAT ONE.>>Stephen: I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN
THE CONSTITUTION IS TOUGH ON MASSAGE PARLORS. THAT’S WHY GEORGE WASHINGTON HAD
TO CLOSE “PAPA GEORGE’S YE OLDE TANNERY AND TUG SHOPPE.” ( LAUGHTER )
NOW, WE DON’T REALLY KNOW HIS MOTIVES HERE. EVIDENTLY, “MANY COMPANIES
REGISTER TRADEMARKS IN CHINA TO PREVENT OTHERS FROM USING THEIR. NAMES.” SO WE MIGHT NOT HAVE THE KIND OF
PRESIDENT WHO OPENS CHINESE ESCORT SERVICES, BUT WE
DEFINITELY HAVE THE KIND WHO KNOWS HIS NAME WOULD BE PERFECT
FOR ONE. ( LAUGHTER )
THERE IS ALSO– THERE IS ALSO A LITTLE BIT OF CONTROVERSY
SWIRLING AROUND TRUMP’S NEW HEAD OF THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION
AGENCY, FORMER OKLAHOMA ATTORNEY GENERAL AND BARGAIN BIN
GEORGE W. BUSH, SCOTT PRUITT. HE IS A MAN WHO KNOWS THE E.P.A. EXTREMELY WELL, BECAUSE HE’S
SUED IT 14 TIMES. AND YESTERDAY, PRUITT MADE
HEADLINES FOR WHAT HE SAID IN THIS INTERVIEW.>>LET ME ASK YOU ONE OTHER
THING, JUST TO GET TO THE NITTY-GRITTY. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT IT’S BEEN
PROVEN THAT C.O.-2 IS THE PRIMARY CONTROL KNOB FOR
CLIMATE? DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?>>NO, I WOULD NOT AGREE THAT
IT’S A PRIMARY CONTRIBUTOR TO THE GLOBAL WARMING THAT WE SEE.>>Stephen: YEAH, IT’S NOT A
PRIMARY CONTRIBUTOR TO THE GLOBAL WARMING WE SEE, JUST THE
KIND WE FEEL, AS IT GETS HOTTER AND HOTTER EVERY YEAR. ( LAUGHTER )
CAN’T SEE IT. YOU KNOW WHAT THE HEAD OF THE
E.P.A. MIGHT WANT TO READ? THE E.P.A.’S OWN WEBSITE, WHICH
STATES CLEARLY THAT “HUMAN ACTIVITY, LIKE BURNING FOSSIL
FUELS, RELEASE LARGE AMOUNTS OF CARBON DIOXIDE, THE PRIMARY
GREENHOUSE GAS CONTRIBUTING TO RECENT CLIMATE CHANGE.” YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T CONTRADICT
YOUR OWN WEBSITE. THAT’S LIKE BUZZFEED SAYING THEY
DON’T BELIEVE A QUIZ CAN TELL YOU IF YOU’RE A LUMIERE OR A
COGSWORTH. ( LAUGHTER )
LUMIERE, BY THE WAY.>>Jon: OH, YEAH, UH-HUH.>>Stephen: BUT MAYBE PRUITT
IS RIGHT. MAYBE C.O.-2 ISN’T THE NUMBER
ONE CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING. MAYBE IT’S THE HEAD OF THE
E.P.A. BLOWING SMOKE UP THE OIL INDUSTRY’S ASS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OH, TOM BRADY IS BACK IN THE NEWS. YOU ALL KNOW TOM BRADY. I’M SURE YOU KNOW THAT GUY FROM
THE SUPER BOWL.>>Jon: HUT! HUT!>>Stephen: THRU HAVE IT,
WHETHER YOU LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM, THOSE ARE DEFINITELY THE
ONLY TWO OPTIONS. AND NOW THE THING IS, TOM BRADY
IS ENDORSING A MEAL SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE CALLED PURPLE CARROT,
WHICH, OF COURSE, IS NAMED AFTER ONE OF THE HEALTHIEST EUPHEMISMS
FOR A PENIS. AND THE COMPANY IS OFFERING A
NEW LINE OF MEALS THAT FOLLOW BRADY’S NOTORIOUSLY HEALTHY
DIET, INCLUDING: BY THE WAY, IF YOU’RE NOT GINGERING YOUR
AMORANTH, YOU’RE AN IDIOT. DO YOU, JON?>>Jon: I CAN’T SAY THEY DO.>>Stephen: HOW MANY SUPER
BOWL RINGS DO YOU HAVE?>>Jon: I DON’T HAVE ANY.>>Stephen: THAT’S WHY. BRADY CLEARLY EXCITEDLY ABOUT
THE PARTNERSHIP RELEASING THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT:
OKAY, BUT HERE’S THE THING– EATING LIKE TOM BRADY ISN’T THE
PART OF HIS LIFE THAT YOU FANTASIZE ABOUT. ( LAUGHTER )
PLEASE, LET ME KNOW WHEN THERE’S A SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE THAT
MAILS YOU A SUPER MODEL, CHAMPIONSHIP RINGS AND $24
MILLION A YEAR. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
IF NOT, IF NOT, I MIGHT JUST STICK TO WATCHING FOOTBALL AND
DRINKING MY WAY TO NACHO CHEESE. ( LAUGHTER )
HERE’S A GREAT STORY OUT OF DELIVER BLIFFIA. ANY BLIFFIANS HERE.>>Audience: YEAH!>>Stephen: YOU’RE GOING TO
LOVE THIS STORY. THAT ONE GUY IS GOING TO LOVE
THIS STORY HERE. WE ALWAYS HAVE ONE EVERY NIGHT,
ONE BOLIVIAN EVERY NIGHT. HERE’S A GREAT STORY OUT OF
BOLIVIA, WHERE A FRANCISCAN MONASTERY RECENTLY ADOPTED A
STRAY DOG AND NAMED HIM FRIAR BIGOTON, LITERALLY TRANSLATES TO
“FRIAR MOUSTACHE.” THAT’S THE CUTEST CATHOLIC DOG
NAME SINCE POPE PEANUT XIV. HE RADICALIZED THE CHURCH’S
STANCE ON “WHO’S A GOOD BOY?” UPON RECEIVING HIS NEW TITLE,
FRIAR MOUSTACHE ALSO RECEIVED HIS OWN ROBE AND HOOD! AW, WHO’S A DEVOUT PUPPY? YOU ARE! YES, YOU ARE! REMEMBER YOUR VOW OF CELEBACY. NO LEG HUMPING. NO HUMPING THE LEG. ANYWAY, IT’S A CUTE STORY. SORRY, WOMEN, STILL NO ROOM IN
THE PRIESTHOOD. BUT THIS GIVES ME AN IDEA. PEOPLE LOVE FRIAR MOUSTACHE AND
PEOPLE LOVE HBO DRAMAS ABOUT REVOLUTIONARY RELIGIOUS FIGURES,
SO GET READY FOR MY NEW PROJECT. “DOG MONK. THIS SPRING: DOG IS GOD SPELLED. BACKWARDS.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ ♪ ♪ DO YOU HAVE A DOG?>>Jon: OH, NO, NO DOG.>>Stephen: YOU DON’T HAVE A
DOG?>>Jon: NO.>>Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER HAD
A DOG?>>Jon: I HAD A DOG WHEN I WAS
A KID. I HAD A GERMAN SHEPPARD.>>Stephen: NAME?>>Jon: I FORGOT HIS NAME.>>Stephen: OH, OKAY. MAN’S BEST FRIEND, INDEED. YOU DON’T REMEMBERLET COG’S
NAME? A. I WAS VERY YOUNG.IT WAS MY OL
>>Stephen: ANOTHER SO IT WASN’T REALLY YOUR DOG.>>Jon: IT WASN’T REALLY.>>Stephen: I HAVE A DOG NAMED
COOKIE, THE BEST DOG IN THE WORLD. FOR THE RECORD. I HAD IT NOTARIZED. THERE’S AN EXCITING NEW OPTION
FOR OLDER AMERICANS BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, JIMMY BUFFETT IS
OPENING A SERIES OF RETIREMENT HOMES. NOW SENIOR CITIZENS CAN
LITERALLY WASTE AWAY IN MARGARITAVILLE. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) ACCORDING TOO–
ACCORDING TO THE WEBSITE, THESE ASSISTED LIVING FACILITIES ARE
“INSPIRED BY THE LEGENDARY MUSIC AND LIFESTYLE OF JIMMY BUFFETT.” ALTHOUGH THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE
TO ADAPT “CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE” TO “GREEN JELLO IN THE
DAY ROOM.” ( LAUGHTER )
BUT, YOU KNOW, NOT EVERY SENIOR SUFFERS FROM EARLY-ONSET
PARROTHEAD, AND OUR ELDERLY OF COURSE NEED OPTIONS WHEN IT
COMES TO CHOOSING THE MUSICIAN-AFFILIATED NURSING HOME
THAT’S RIGHT FOR THEM. FOR EXAMPLE, SAMMY HAGAR’S “CABO
WABO RETIREMENT BEACH.” YOUR KIDS HAVE TO PUT YOU
SOMEPLACE AFTER YOU TURN 55. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AND FOR REBELLIOUS OLD PEOPLE WHO DON’T FIT IN AT THOSE
CONFORMIST RETIREMENT FACILITIES, THERE’S “THE AGE
AGAINST THE MACHINE COMMUNITY OF SCOTTSDALE.” ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) YEAH.>>Jon: YEAH, I LIKE THAT ONE! WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR
TONIGHT. FELICITY HUFFMAN IS HERE! BUT WHEN WE RETURN, I’LL GOT. UPDATE ON THE GREAT WALL OF
TRUMP. STICK AROUND.

About Ralph Robinson

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100 thoughts on “China’s Trump-Branded Massage Parlours Rub Stephen The Wrong Way

  1. SOL did it.. everything else responds.. the fix for my stupid is ..GENESIS 6.7.. the BANKER$ are doing the best they can.. REVELATION 17.17..

  2. I will be the very last who lies in any world so as dumb then trump.. But I'm happy as long as I'm free to do anything love anyone without need a lie ❤️

  3. Those who knows me wins me those who wins me never catch me because they know I had angel and evil wings 👐🏻

  4. Methane gas is worse than carbon dioxide. Livestock industries contribute the most greenhouse gases and global warming. Carbon dioxide is number 2.

  5. I feel like an alien in this world sometimes. A world where a guy who can throw a ball real good gets millions, worshiped, and remembered, but somebody who finds a life changing health solution with medical science doesn't even get their name known and nobody cares. Priorities in this world are fucked up. No wonder we have so many problems.

  6. Ive been banned from replying from so many posts on this Stephen Colbert channel its unreal. How ironic. The cia snowflakes bans anyone that disagrees. So much for rights and freedoms ay democrats?! Fascism is what “safe spaces” means for liberals, but apparently Trump and Rerpublicans are the bad guys

  7. Prison makers say walls work. Walls work pretty good in my home. Israel has walls around their, and other countries borders. Mexico has a southern border wall. The cost to United States in continuing infrastructure repair, and use of natural resources demands a wall to stop millions of immigrants. I'm a native American that wants to know who gave all of you people from all 3rd world countries the right to take more from the native Americans?

  8. I found this e-book. I just read just 2 chapters and I got SHOCKED! E-book: "Anti-Trump, 13 Reasons Why Donald Trump is Dangerous for American.pdf". You can download here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-2q3wfm-k5wcktMZWtndHBVZUE

  9. Prison builders say walls do work. Walls work pretty good in my home. Israel has walls around their, and other countries borders. Mexico has a southern border wall. The cost to United States in continuing infrastructure repair, and use of natural resources demands a wall to stop millions of immigrants. I'm a native American that wants to know who gave all of you people from all 3rd world countries the right to take more from the native Americans?

  10. Areas's medical police, and military police, and courts's police have roles with this, and with exploiting all ages of innocence with private police, and with only let realized inter-nation "gangland" area's lie progression coverup needs formal, and informal. We need to follow mandated law and reality here. This was/is tied to them conscious of all as predator evidence fabrication natures not admitting proofs of urban impositions, and per fake free business/zoning standards, and rules not followed anyway. This was/is why people have to put up with pedophile natures in their towns not allowed reported, and for their inter-branch/medical corruption facilitations, and tied to Sandy Hook, and before I saw the physical face of a doctor also recorded to federal crimes with their stewards being hid. They just took/take money for these investigations. We need colonization's method charged. Law gives reliefs to healthcare right now, too. That's not maturity. That's breached fact treatment natures not allowing our nature its means all sides, and how.

  11. I can't stand the band on this show. What's-his-face is completely useless and makes it so cringey when poor Colbert is forced to converse with him. Get rid of that guy already.

  12. Thanks for saying something about climate change. I hate these smug conservatives who deny climate change and other proven science and then go around using all the products the science they deny has given them. They shouldn't be allowed to use any of the products of science if they deny its basic laws–laws that are the same whether you apply them to climate change, building a circuit board, or landing a spacecraft on a comet. They should be denied access to modern medicine, computers, smart phones, cars, roads, food (because we wouldn't be able to feed so many without science). Lets see how well they do without science.

  13. These lies MSN CNN and all the left wing army of media attacking a patriotic president will have this effect… You won't win! MARSHALL LAW will be enacted and the patriots of this country will massacre everyone who is not. So you keep going with your lies of division.. I just hope I get to see Alec Baldwin and all the late night hosts and the creatures that pass for news anchors, I hope I get to see them boiled and skinned alive. (ha news, right) ps FK POOP DOG , STANK NIGGA

  14. I love how he still starts every single monologue with jokingly saying Donald Trumps name as if he would have never mentioned him before. And it still works.

  15. LOL like Colbert knows anything about Climate change, then hes making fun of others for stuff he doesnt know.

  16. People are missing this fact; George Soros is a sponsor of Clinton, Obama, Black Lives Matters, Democracy Now, and about another 200 anarchist groups. Soros money is behind a movement (the left) to create racial divide, civil unrest, and ultimately, take down western society. MSM such as MSNBC, CNN, ABC, BBC are being used by Soros (through his money being thrown behind these organizations) as the news front to accomplish the sinister plans set in motion a decade or more ago. I implore you folks of the extreme left, to stop buying into this crazy theme you are being sold. You are sponsoring absolutely everything you stand against.

  17. They will never get the chance to make this kind of money ever again on a political candidate. Congrats Comedy Icons. You and the media get to make a lot of money for 4 more years. While the rest of us suffer through this mess.

  18. Aww! I love Friar Moustache! He's so cute in his abbot outfit! God bless him & those good friars that saved him! 🙂

  19. "Friar Bigoton" means "Friar person-with-big-mustache", not "Friar mustache". Just like "pelon" means "person with a bald head". A "Bigote" is a mustache, but that's not what they said. Spanish is just weird.

  20. EPA guy doesn't believe in CO2. LOL Oh man, we are fooked. lol Who voted for this shithead? Seriously. We're fooked.

  21. The EPA needs fixed, no doubt. Putting Pruitt in charge is idiocy. Keeping the EPA as it was is not protecting the environment. What is in the air is NOT their problem, so they say. What comes out as exhaust is not their problem. So, what DO they protect? What do they do when we drain wetlands? Nothing. The Corp of Engineers and the EPA are useless.

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  23. …We are witnessing the fall of the American Empire, the last breath of the greatest experiment in democracy since the fall of the Greek empire. The sheer magnitude of incompetence and absence of reason and common sense is staggering, and we are left to wonder whether we can survive one more generation before we fall into the abyss, never to see the light of day again. My generation is the last to witness the destruction of what could have been the best hope for humankind, thanks to a despicable and deplorable human being from the bowels of hell….

  24. Can Trump make a deal with China and buy their great Wall and transplant it along our southern border?Very similar to the London Bridge at lake Havasu in AZ. It will be the 8th wonder of the World "Great Wall of China" now in America!

  25. this is a nightmare. For people who aren't understanding what's wrong here, massage parlors are often fronts for human trafficking. What the hell is wrong with these people!?!

  26. Trump escort services wouldn't be something new for the Trump family. Donald's German-born grandfather, in the Yukon during the gold rush, set up a refreshment tent, later a building, offering food, liquor and WOMEN to gold miners.

  27. Looking back on these older vids, Trump is getting away with the same shit he was during his election. Every day is something new and crazier than the previous. This shit just gets forgotten about.

    Like look at Bush Jr. He was nuts in the sense he want the smartest man and everyone was going nuts because he'd do something stupid like… Once every few months on average.. maybe….

    But Trump and his presidency, be it the people around him, the inner workings of the white house, or Trump himself, there's been none stop "what in the fuck is going on… This isn't how it works" has just been washed away by daily crazy. As if you're numb to the complete nightmare of daily bull.

    Trump is essentially Jake Paul as president. And the problem with this everyday insanity is "Its Everyday Bro!"

  28. You probably have a really nice dog, but I’m pretty sure I have the better dog Stephen. Does your dog cross their paws when they lay down? Does your dog do high five? Does your dog stop fights between other dogs at the dog park? Does your dog look like she’s lost her god damn mind in the snow? Just saying…

  29. March 20th 2019 Donald Trump Donald Trump has been linked to the same massage parlor as Robert Kraft , 0 what a tangled web we weave. Slavery sex trafficking

  30. 日本台官商法人众,是摸書己学書组團,,,??。
    在聯合法下,为土匪匪寇聚集学穿衣伝说書,在法律维持己学書学做出小,人作出人而加入狮子邪会,看書互相作出人,作出真人,實学或真夏娃娃的父母,,,SO,購販进出—切,型成買賣掛牌海巡署,實是土匪匪寇購贩为転换成掛牌土匪匪寇海盗加海盗城士匪匪寇国,,,SO,退出聯合後,大法人以己作为出惨国因果,须推廣己良作为而卞危害人人律前册惡史事,,,SD,加油加油,,,。
    而退出聯,海商事法,即土匪匪寇以掛牌名位而私購一切(还好海盗小船,大海盗铁大艦),土匪匪寇大型海盗船,,,而已,SO,黑吃黑看多了,但,,,通報海巡警,巡海战艦会以??心態,不知吔,,,??。

  31. co2 is NOT the primary problem, co ONE is, aka carbon MONOXIDE… will someone please notify the Nobel Science Committee that they are wrong?

  32. TOM Brady is a racist!..Trump Supporter…sent me a messed up text,…I saved it,Thanks Brady,was a fan!..hopefully see you in court

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