This is Jenny Yang’s Hollywood Boot Camp. You are the first class of my Nexternship interns. Only the strong will survive. Do you want to work in Hollywood? QUEEN, YES, QUEEN! Well I’m sure you’ve heard the horror stories. Well they’re all true. Hollywood is a desperate succubus leeching off the energy and innocence of your dreams. Everyone wants the glamour, no one wants the work. Embrace the suck. QUEEN, YES, QUEEN! Today’s lesson, get used to non-stop rejection. ‘No’ is just ‘yes’ waiting for love. QUEEN, YES, QUEEN! Don’t let it break you. Grow a thick skin. QUEEN, YES, QUEEN! Cry in your car. Push down your emotions. Get a therapist. Don’t get a pet.
Don’t be high-maintenance. NyQuil is your friend. Squeeze your pressure points. Don’t let them get you. QUEEN, YES, QUEEN. Can you read my script? No! I got some jokes. NooOOOooo. What if we made a video- No. Can we book this comic – No. Can I sit in on the meeting? No. Can we shoot my TV pilot? No. Can we do a video about kittens? No. Will there be food? No. Can I breathe now? No. Can we stop working? No. Is that Taylor Swift? NO. Can I get your leftovers? No. Can I have some water? No. Can you be nicer to us? No. no nO NO NO NO NO NO! No no no no no no no no no no no no no. NO. No no no no no no no. No. No. Be nice or we won’t work. *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* Okay. Is this a shoulder hole? It’s trendy! Hollywood is trendy!