Key & Peele – Proud Thug
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Key & Peele – Proud Thug


– OKAY,
LET’S GET THIS THING GOING. EVERYBODY TAKE A SEAT. WE GOT TO HAVE
MORE MEETINGS, HOMES, ‘CAUSE I’M TELLING YOU, MAN,
WE GOT TO GET ORGANIZED. [sighs] [police sirens in the distance] CARLITO AIN’T GOT A SEAT, MAN.
SOMEONE GET HIM A CHAIR. – NO, I’M COOL. – NO, DUDE, GET HIM A CHAIR,
HOMES. – I’M GONNA SIT GANGSTER. – BUT, CARLITO, IT DOESN’T LOOK
LIKE IT’S COMFORTABLE, MAN. WHY DON’T YOU
JUST SIT IN THE CHAIR? – I NEVER SIT
IN NO CHAIR,ESE.MM-MMM. YOU NEVER, EVER GON’ CATCH ME
SITTING IN NO CHAIRS. – HEY,ESE,YOU KNOW THAT
THAT’S LOCO, RIGHT? – NO, MAN.
[scoffs] – IT’S COOL, CARLITO. NO ONE’S GONNA THINK
YOU’RE SOFT IF YOU SIT IN A CHAIR, HOMES.
– YEAH, YEAH. – WE’RE ALL SITTING IN CHAIRS.
– RIGHT. – BUNCH OF BITCH-ASSCULEROS.QUE?
– I DON’T HAVE NO TIME TO SIT IN NO [bleep] CHAIR. – OKAY. NOW THAT WE’RE ALL HERE– YOU KNOW WHAT?
BUT WHY, THOUGH? LIKE, IT DON’T MAKE NO SENSE
FOR YOU TO SET YOURSELF UP WITH A RULE LIKE THAT. – NO, IT’S, LIKE, LIMITING.
– YEAH, LIMITING. – LIMITING.
– I MEAN, SOMETIMES, PEOPLE SIT IN CHAIRS. – MAN, [bleep] ALL OF YOU GUYS
WITH YOUR BITCH-ASS CHAIRS. [wood cracks] – THERE.
– [scoffs] – OKAY, CARLITO, QUIT PLAYING
AND SIT IN THE CHAIR,PENDEJO.– NO.
– CARLITO, WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS MEETING
NOW,ESE.GET UP! – I’M GOOD RIGHT HERE, MAN. – YOU KNOW–
– I’M CHILLING. GO AHEAD WITH YOUR MEETING. – OKAY, BUT YOU KNOW
IT’S GOING TO BE WEIRD. YOU DON’T CARE
THAT IT’S GOING TO BE WEIRD? – WEIRD FOR YOU, MAYBE. – HE DOESN’T CARE.
OKAY. OKAY, HOMIES,
SO THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE TO DO, LIKE, WE GOT TO SELL
MORE DRUGS… – [groaning]
– AND WE GOT TO MAKE MORE CRIMES HAPPEN. ROBERTO, WHERE ARE WE–
– [groaning] – CARLITO,
YOU’RE BLEEDING,ESE!– [grunts]
WHO CARES, MAN? [winces] – YO, WHOA!
YOU JUST GOT SHANKED, MAN! WE GOT TO PULL THAT OUT!
– LEAVE IT! I’M CHILLING, HOMES. I DON’T CARE
ABOUT THAT STUPID SHANK. [groaning] [exhales] – CARLITO. CARLITO, WAKE UP, MAN! [radio chatter] – HEY,
DON’T EVEN BOTHER,ESE.– WHAT?
[screams] OH,DIOS MIO!– I DON’T NEED
THOSE DEFIBRILLATORS. I DON’T EVEN WANT TO COME BACK
TO LIFE, HOMES. – CARLITO,
GO BACK INTO YOUR BODY. – MY BODY’S STUPID, HOMES.
– WHAT? – I’M FINE RIGHT HERE
ON THE SPIRIT PLANE. LIFE IS FOR PUSSIES. [heavenly singing] – CARLITO.
CARLITO, GO TO THE LIGHT. – NAH, I’M GOOD, MAN. – CARLITO,
THAT’S HEAVEN, MAN. – I DON’T NEED TO GO
TO HEAVEN, HOMES. HEAVEN IS FOR PUSSIES.
– OH, BOY.

About Ralph Robinson

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53 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Proud Thug

  1. I just recently started paying attention to K&P (I know, a bit late to the party), and I absolutely love watching what these guys are going to morph into next. Brilliant TV, too bad it ended so abruptly.

  2. The worst part is I actually know people who are so lazy they're too lazy to make their life easier and be lazier.

    Or "I hate looking at X" – "then don't look at X" – "ugh I don't care, I'll look at X" – "Why?" – "Why not?" – "Because you gain nothing from it, complained about it and you can just look away, it takes zero effort" – "Stop bugging me"… god I wanna slap those people

  3. Man I am never fine in spirit plane. They are always making delay. I prefer United Airlines. Spirit is for cheap though

  4. This is cool, but for me it is best that it is 'Proud Thug' and applicable – but this could be the satire of practically any Russian stubborn (not having anything to do with Thug or drugs) attitudes/behaviors, man or woman.

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